Language of gestures and body movements. Crossed hands on the shoulder

By the end of the 20th century, a new type of sociologist, specialist in the field of nonverbal speech, emerged. Just as an ornithologist enjoys observing the behavior of birds, a nonverbal person enjoys observing the nonverbal signs and signals of human communication. He watches them at formal functions, on the beach, on television, at work - everywhere where people interact with each other. He studies human behavior, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to thereby learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost incredible that in more than a million years of human evolution, nonverbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only in the early sixties, and their existence became known to the public only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research on nonverbal aspects of communication done by behavioral scientists before 1970, but even today, most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.

Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the founders of nonverbal communication; for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad based on how he could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When talkies became popular and less attention was paid to the nonverbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with strong verbal abilities began to dominate the screen.

Regarding the technical side of the study of the problem of body language; Perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, published in 1872. It stimulated modern research in the field of "body language", and many of Darwin's ideas and observations are recognized by researchers today all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded more than 1,000 nonverbal signs and signals.

Albert Meyerabian found that the transfer of information occurs through verbal means (words only) by 7%, through audio means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and through non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissle has done similar research regarding the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person speaks in words only for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence on average lasts no more than 2.5 seconds. Like Meyerabian, he found that verbal communication in a conversation takes up less than 35%, and more than 65% of information is transmitted using non-verbal means of communication.

Most researchers share the view that the verbal channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to “discuss” interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can send a man a murderous look, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him without even opening her mouth.

Regardless of a person's cultural level, words and their accompanying movements coincide with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissle even claims that a well-trained person can tell by voice what kind of movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissle learned to determine what kind of voice a person speaks by observing his gestures at the time of speech.

Many people find it difficult to accept that humans are still biological beings. Homo sapiens is a species of large, hairless ape that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. It is surprising that the human animal is rarely aware that his posture, gestures and movements may contradict what his voice communicates.

When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues with verbal cues. In other words, when we say that we have a feeling, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone is telling a lie, what we really mean is that we have noticed a discrepancy between the person’s body language and the words that person has spoken. Lecturers call this audience sense. For example, if listeners sit deep in their chairs with their chins down and their arms folded, the receptive person will have a feeling that his message will not be successful. He will understand that something needs to be changed to interest the audience. And an unreceptive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.

Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to record the smallest details. Therefore, few husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out a man’s secret in his eyes, which he does not even suspect.

This female intuition is especially well developed in women raising young children.

For the first few years, a mother relies only on non-verbal channels of communication with her child, and it is believed that, due to their intuition, women are better suited to negotiate than men.

Although much research has been done, there is heated debate about whether nonverbal cues are innate or learned, whether they are genetically transmitted or acquired in some other way. Evidence was obtained through observations of blind, deaf, and deaf-mute people who could not learn nonverbal language through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made of the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives - monkeys and macaques - was studied.

The findings of these studies indicate that gestures can be classified. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, suggesting that this ability is either innate or genetic.

The German scientist Eibl - Eibesfeldt found that the ability to smile in children who are deaf or blind from birth is manifested without any learning or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Zorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's assumptions about innate gestures when they studied facial expressions in people from five widely different cultures. They found that different cultures used similar facial expressions when expressing certain emotions, leading them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.

When you cross your arms over your chest, are you crossing your right arm over your left or your left arm over your right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done it. In one case they will feel comfortable, in another case they will not. From this we can conclude that this is perhaps a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.

There is also controversy over whether some gestures are learned and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coat starting with the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coat with the left sleeve. When a man passes a woman on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually passes, turning away from him. Does she do this instinctively to protect her breasts? Is this a woman's innate gesture, or has she learned it unconsciously by watching other women?

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Chapter 6
Gestures of hands and thumbs

Portrait of Napoleon by Jacques-Louis David, 1812.

We see the French emperor in his favorite pose. I wonder if he had a stomach ulcer or if he had a good day?

The human hand consists of 27 small bones connected by a network of ligaments and tendons. The joints of the hand are set in motion by dozens of small muscles. Scientists have noticed that the neural connection between the brain and the hand is much stronger than any other part of the body. Hand gestures allow you to clearly imagine a person’s emotional state. Since the hands are usually located in front of the body, it is very easy to notice such signals. Most people have their own signature gestures that they use all the time. It is enough to remember Napoleon, and each of us will imagine a man with his hand tucked over the side of his vest, with his thumb extended. We believe that many of you have a not entirely decent explanation for this pose. Some would suggest that the emperor suffered from a stomach ulcer or a skin disease. Perhaps at that time it was considered indecent to keep your hands in your pockets. Maybe Napoleon's hand was mutilated. What if he kept a scented sachet over the side of his vest, which he often brought to his nose. Or maybe the artist simply didn’t know how to paint well with a brush. The reality is very simple. In 1738, before the birth of Napoleon, François Nivelon published “The Book of Decent Behavior,” in which he described the emperor’s favorite pose as follows: “The hand placed over the side of the coat is the most common pose of a noble man, full of masculinity and at the same time modesty.” . When Napoleon saw his portrait, he said to the artist: “You understand me, my dear David.” So, such a gesture emphasizes the high position of a person.

History books say that such a gesture was not the emperor’s favorite pose. He didn't even pose for a portrait. The artist drew it from memory and chose the pose himself. But the essence of his chosen hand gesture is absolutely obvious. It is absolutely clear that Jacques-Louis David, being an artist, was well aware of the power and meaning of body language.

Napoleon's height was only 1.64 m. Those who saw only the portrait argued that the emperor's height was at least 1.85 m.

What do hands say?

For thousands of years, a person's position in society determined how many people had to listen silently to his speech. The higher a person's status, the more people were expected to remain completely silent while he spoke. In ancient Rome, a person of low birth could be executed if he carelessly interrupted Caesar's speech. Today we live in a society where freedom of speech reigns. Anyone who wants to express their opinion can do so at any time. In the UK, Australia and the USA it is permissible to interrupt the president or prime minister. In 2003, when Tony Blair took part in a televised debate about the Iraq crisis, the audience mercilessly slammed the prime minister to express their disagreement. In many countries, hand movements serve as a kind of “punctuation marks” in oral speech. Raising hands is characteristic mainly of Italians and French. In England you will rarely see such a gesture, unless you are saying something that a true Englishman cannot agree with.

In Italy, the order of speeches is very simple: a person raises his hand, gets the floor and speaks. Listeners keep their hands down or behind their backs. If you want to get a word in, you have to raise your hand. This can be done either by looking around and making sure that there are no others willing, or by touching the person who is also about to raise his hand and take the floor. It seems to many that Italians talking to each other are always in close relationships, since they constantly touch each other. In reality, they simply interrupt each other and take the floor.

In this chapter, we will talk about the most common hand and thumb gestures that we encounter almost constantly.

Tie an Italian's hands behind his back and he will be speechless.

Observe how a person summarizes a discussion in which different points of view were expressed. You will immediately understand whose side he is on. In such a situation, a person raises one hand, palm up, and states the first point of view, and then raises the other and states the arguments of the other side. Those arguments that seem correct to a person will be presented accompanied by the dominant hand: that is, the right for right-handers or the left for left-handers.

Hand gestures immediately attract attention, enhance the impact of a message, and help a person remember information. At the University of Manchester, Geoffrey Beattie and Nina McLachlin conducted an interesting experiment. Participants had to listen to stories related to cartoon characters. The narrator, speaking to one group, made various gestures - imitated running, drying his hair with a hairdryer, spread his arms to the sides, showing a fat man - an opera singer. The other told stories absolutely dispassionately, without making any gestures. After half an hour, the experiment participants were asked to repeat what they were told about. The group that listened to the story accompanied by gestures showed a higher degree of memory of details. From this we can conclude that gestures contribute to the memorization of information.

In this chapter, we will discuss 15 of the most common gestures that you probably see every day and talk about their meaning.

Recently, a friend of ours came to us, planning to spend her vacation at a ski resort. During the conversation, she leaned back in her chair, smiled widely, rubbed her palms together and exclaimed, “I just can’t wait!” With her gesture, she non-verbally let us know that she expected a lot from this trip.

Rubbing your palms expresses positive expectations. When throwing the dice, a person rubs them in his hands for a while as a sign of hope for a positive outcome of the game. The master of ceremonies rubs his palms and says: “So, now the next speaker will speak to us.” A joyful salesman bursts into his boss's office, rubbing his palms together, and announces, "We just received a huge order!" However, when the waiter rubs his palms at the end of dinner and asks, “Anything else, sir?”, he is nonverbally letting you know that he expects a good tip.

Demonstrating positive expectations

The speed of rubbing your palms indicates for whom the realization of your expectations will be favorable. For example, you want to buy a house and come to a realtor. You talk about your wishes, the realtor vigorously rubs his palms and says: “I have the right house for you!” In this case, the realtor is demonstrating his or her expectation that the results will be favorable to you. But how will you feel if the realtor starts rubbing his palms very slowly, even while saying the same words? You will subconsciously feel that he expects the results of the transaction to be beneficial for himself, and not for you.

The vigor of rubbing your palms indicates who will benefit from the realization of expectations.

Salespeople are taught to use palm rubbing when communicating the benefits of products and services to potential buyers. Rubbing your palms vigorously helps bring customers out of a defensive mood. If, for example, a buyer vigorously rubs his palms together and says, “Let's see what you can offer me!”, the seller immediately understands that the chances of selling the product or service are very high.

“I have a great offer for you!”

Always take the context into account when analyzing this gesture. A person who vigorously rubs his palms together while standing at a bus stop on a frosty winter day is unlikely to have positive expectations about the bus. Most likely he was just frozen.

Rubbing the tip of the index finger or several fingers at once with the thumb is usually regarded as a signal of anticipation of receiving money. The man seems to be rubbing a coin held between his fingers. This gesture is often used by street vendors who promise a big discount, or by those who want to borrow money from friends.

However, when communicating with clients, professionals should avoid such a gesture, as it creates negative associations with money.

“We will make decent money from this business!”

At first glance, this gesture symbolizes confidence, since it often makes people smile. However, we once watched a negotiator in this position tell us about a failed deal. He talked, and his fingers gradually turned white. At the end of the story, we got the impression that they were hooked up forever. Clasped hands demonstrate an anxious, negative attitude. Queen Elizabeth loves this gesture, especially during royal visits or public appearances. In this case, her hands usually lie on her knees.

Hands clasped in a raised position are a sign of dissatisfaction, even if the person is smiling.

Research on this gesture by negotiation experts Nirenberg and Calero found that it is a sign of dissatisfaction. If such a gesture appears during negotiations, it means that the person is experiencing negative, anxious feelings towards what is happening. Usually people sit in this position when they feel that they are unable to convince their opponents or that they have lost the negotiations.

Hands clasped in a central position

Hands clasped in a lowered position

The hands can be clasped in three positions: in front of the face, on the table or on the knees, and in a standing position - at groin level.

We found a relationship between the height of clasped hands and the degree of dissatisfaction. The higher the clasped hands are located, the more difficult it is to come to an agreement with a person. Having noticed that the interlocutor has clasped his hands, you should try to move him to a different position: offer him a drink or ask him to hold something. Otherwise, the negative attitude will persist, and in the end your interlocutor will cross his arms in one way or another, forming an impenetrable barrier.

As we have already said, gestures, like words in a sentence, are interconnected. Body language signals should always be interpreted in context, taking all circumstances into account. "Spire" is an exception to the rule, as it most often appears in isolation. During this gesture, a person connects his fingertips in a kind of cathedral spire and sometimes swings his hands back and forth.

This person is confident that he knows the right answer.

We have noticed that “spiel” often arises in communication between a boss and his subordinates. This gesture speaks of confidence and authority. It is often used by managers when giving instructions to subordinates. “Spiel” is especially common among lawyers, accountants and senior managers. This gesture is characteristic of people who are confident in themselves and in their own superiority. He immediately makes it clear that such a person knows his worth.

President Chirac and Gerry Adams sometimes like to impersonate God himself

Sometimes the “spire” develops into a prayerful gesture - that is, a person wants to be like the Lord God himself. We do not recommend using this gesture if you want to gain the other person's trust, as it is often perceived as a sign of arrogance and complacency

If you want to look confident and show that you know all the answers, this gesture will help you do it.

Imagine this scene: you are playing chess and you have to make a move. You raise your hand over the chessboard and touch a piece with your finger, indicating that you are going to go with it. And at this moment you notice that your opponent leaned back in his chair and put his fingers in a “spire”. Thus, he non-verbally lets you know that he is completely confident in your next move and is not at all afraid of it. So you have a direct reason to change your intention. You touch another piece and continue to observe the opponent. If he clasps his fingers or crosses his arms in one way or another, it means he doesn't like your possible move, and that's what you should do.

Lowered "spire"

The “spire” has two options: raised and lowered. A raised “spire” appears when a person expresses his point of view or presents his own ideas. A lowered “spire” is characteristic of those who listen carefully to the interlocutor.

Women more often choose the second option of this gesture. If the raised spire is accompanied by a tilt of the head back, you are dealing with a smug, arrogant person.

Although the "spire" is generally a positive signal, its meaning can vary in different situations. Imagine that you are talking about your idea. During the presentation, you managed to note a number of positive signals - open palms, leaning forward, nodding, etc. And suddenly, at the end of the speech, your interlocutor puts his fingers in a “spire”.

If the “sheep” is accompanied by a number of other positive gestures and appears at the moment when you are telling your interlocutor about the possibility of solving his problem, then you can safely continue counting on a positive reaction. If the “spiel” is accompanied by a chain of negative gestures - such as crossing arms or legs, looking to the side and putting hands to the face, the interlocutor is confident that he can refuse you or get rid of you. In both cases, this gesture expresses confidence, but in one case the outcome of the conversation is positive, and in the other - negative. The result is influenced by gestures preceding the “spiel”.

Your hands are always in sight, revealing your emotional state and attitude to what is happening. It is quite difficult to immediately grasp many body language signals, but hand gestures can be practiced until they become automatic. This will help you control yourself and make the right impression on others. By learning to correctly interpret hand gestures, you will look more confident and will be able to win more than one chess game.

Showing your face

This gesture cannot be considered negative. This is an extremely positive signal that occurs during the courtship process. Most often it is used by women and passive homosexuals who want to attract male attention. The woman folds her hands on top of each other and rests her chin on them. It's as if she puts her face in a window so that men can admire it.

Showing off her face - this woman presents her face in the best possible way so that men can admire her

If you want to flatter a woman (sincerely or out of politeness), noticing such a gesture, you can safely do it.

Hands folded behind back

The Duke of Edinburgh and other men of the British royal family often walk with their heads up, chin jutted out, and hands clasped behind their backs, palm to palm. This gesture is typical of state leaders, patrol policemen, school principals walking along the playground, senior officers and senior executives.

This gesture expresses superiority, confidence and authority. A person openly demonstrates his most vulnerable parts of the body: stomach, heart, groin and throat, subconsciously expressing his own fearlessness. In our experience, adopting a pose like this in a stressful situation, such as an interview or in a dentist's waiting room, will immediately make you feel more confident and even authoritative. The law of cause and effect will come into play.

Gesture of superiority and confidence - back and front views

In our work with police officers, we have seen that unarmed officers routinely adopt this position, rocking slightly on their toes to visually increase their height. Armed police officers rarely adopt this position, preferring to keep their arms down or with their fingers tucked into their belts and thumbs up. The weapon gives the officer sufficient authority, and he does not need to put his hands behind his back to emphasize his position.

However, people do not always place their hands behind their backs, palm to palm. Sometimes a person wraps one hand around the other's wrist, as shown in the picture. This is a signal of dissatisfaction and an attempt to pull yourself together. One hand tightly clasps the wrist or forearm of the other, as if trying to keep it from striking.

The higher the grip, the more dissatisfied or irritated your interlocutor is. In the following picture you can see that the man is struggling to hold back. His mood is much more negative than the one shown in the first picture. This person's hand clasped his other arm above the elbow, not at the wrist. This gesture can be considered a clear illustration of the expression “control yourself.”

Grasping your wrist behind your back

Grasping the arm above the elbow

Wrapping your arm behind your back is often seen in courtrooms when opponents come face to face. This is how sellers stand in the “buying” zone, and patients waiting for a doctor. This gesture reveals an attempt to overcome nervousness. If this position is typical for you, try to change it to a “palm on palm” gesture. You will immediately feel more confident.

Demonstration of thumbs

As already mentioned, showing thumbs is a sign of superiority. In palmistry, thumbs indicate the strength of character and ego of a person. Body language cues associated with the thumbs also convey a sense of self-worth. Thumbs are used to emphasize dominance, self-confidence, and sometimes aggressiveness. Thumb gestures are secondary and, as a rule, part of a chain. Showing thumbs is a positive signal and is part of the posture of a confident person who wants to emphasize his own superiority. Men often use such gestures in the presence of attractive women. This pose is typical for people who occupy a high position and are well dressed. You are unlikely to see a homeless person in such a position.

Showing thumbs

In this position, people often rock on their toes to visually increase their height.

Thumbs of hands placed in pockets

This gesture is characteristic of both men and women who are confident in their high position and superiority over others. This is one of Prince Charles' favorite gestures, revealing his mood. In a work environment, a similar gesture is typical of a boss walking around the room where his subordinates work. When the boss is absent, his deputy can take this position. But not a single subordinate would ever put his hands in his pockets with his thumbs out in the presence of his boss.

Prince Charles puts his hands in his pockets, but shows his thumb

Pay attention to the position of the other person's thumbs, as they may indicate a mood that contradicts the words. Imagine a lawyer who, when addressing a jury, says in a soft, quiet voice, “In my humble opinion, ladies and gentlemen...”, but at the same time gives a thumbs up and throws his head back, literally “turning up his nose.”

Lawyer playing coy

The jury will immediately sense the lawyer's insincerity and arrogance. If he really wanted to appear modest, he should have approached the jury with his jacket unbuttoned, his palms open, and his body leaned forward to appear shorter.

“You look like an honest, intelligent person,” says the lawyer. “I would answer you the same, but, unfortunately, I just took the oath,” the witness replies.

People often stick their thumbs out of their back pockets (see picture) as if trying to hide their dominant attitude. Until the 60s, such a gesture was unusual for women, but then they began to wear trousers and began to play a more important role in society, so today such a gesture is not uncommon among women.

Another very common chain of gestures is crossing your arms on your chest while simultaneously showing your thumbs. This signal has a dual meaning. It simultaneously shows a defensive or negative attitude (crossed arms) and superiority over the other person (thumbs out). Usually this pose appears during a conversation. If a person is standing at the same time, then he can swing on his toes.

Showing thumbs shows confidence and authority

The thumb can be seen as a signal of disrespect or ridicule, especially if it is pointed in the direction of the interlocutor. For example, a husband chatting with friends may point his thumb at his wife and say: “She’s always nagging me, asking for a fight.” Naturally, such a gesture irritates most women, especially when it is made by a man. The habit of pointing with the thumb is unusual for women. They use this gesture extremely rarely and only towards people they actively dislike.

This man is negative, but aware of his superiority

“She’s always nagging me!”

Body language

Almost all of us have studied foreign languages. However, there is another international language, publicly accessible and understandable, about which until recently little was known - this is the language of gestures, facial expressions and human body movements.

Psychologists have found that in the process of communication between people, from 60 to 80% of the message is conveyed through non-verbal means of expression, and only 20-40% of the information is transmitted through verbal means.

The peculiarity of body language is that its manifestation is determined by the impulses of our subconscious, and the absence of the ability to fake these impulses allows us to trust this language more than the usual, verbal method of communication. Body language can be faked, but for a very short time, since soon the body will involuntarily transmit signals that contradict its conscious actions. Faking and imitating body language over a long period of time is difficult, but it is useful to learn to use positive, open gestures to successfully communicate with others, and to get rid of gestures that carry a negative, negative connotation.

A large number of gestures and body movements are used when communicating. Let us pay attention only to those gestures and body movements that are often encountered in everyday life and that may become useful when discussing contracts or talking with other people.

Set of gestures

Just as in agriculture, where it is impossible to single out a single influencing factor, so in the study of body language it is impossible to single out one gesture and consider it in isolation from other gestures and circumstances. For example, scratching the back of your head can mean a thousand things - dandruff, sweating, insecurity, forgetfulness, telling a lie. Depending on other gestures accompanying this scratching, one can draw conclusions and interpret correctly. In a language, to understand the true meaning of a word, you need to construct a sentence. It’s the same with body movements - you need to see the whole set of gestures in order to understand their true meaning.

For example, critical evaluative attitude: Propping the cheek with the index finger while the other finger covers the mouth and the thumb rests under the chin. The next confirmation of a critical attitude is the legs tightly crossed, the position of the second hand across the body, as if protecting it, and the head and chin tilted.

If a person, after you ask his attitude to what was said, begins to assure of his complete agreement, this means that he is lying, or that his verbal communication with you is incongruent with his gestures. What do you say, for example, about a politician who stands on a podium with his arms clasped across his chest (a defensive posture), his chin down (a critical or hostile posture), and tells the audience how receptive and friendly he is to the ideas of young people?

The context in which a gesture is made is no less important than the totality of gestures. If a person sits at a bus stop in winter with his legs crossed, his arms crossed tightly on his chest and his head bowed, then most likely this means that he is cold. However, if a person in exactly the same position is sitting at the negotiating table, then his gestures should most definitely be interpreted as having a negative or defensive attitude towards the current situation.

Factors influencing the interpretation of gestures

If a person has a weak handshake, this often indicates a weakness of his character. However, if a person has arthritis, then a weak handshake protects his hand from pain. Also, people in professions that require sensitive fingers - artists, surgeons, musicians - try to avoid shaking hands, and if forced, use a gentle handshake. Sometimes people who wear uncomfortable or tight clothing are constrained in their movements, which affects the expressiveness of their body language. These are rare cases, but should be taken into account.

How to Tell a Lie Without Revealing Yourself

The problem with lying is that our subconscious mind works automatically and independently of us, so our body language gives us away. When we tell a lie, even with a conscious attempt to suppress all bodily movements, the body produces many microsignals. This can be either curvature of the facial muscles, dilation or contraction of the pupils, perspiration on the forehead, blush on the cheeks, rapid blinking and much more, which signals deception.

In order not to give yourself away when telling a lie, you need to make sure that there is no view of your posture. When the interlocutor has the opportunity to see you completely, if the room has good lighting, do not try to tell a lie. On the contrary, sitting at a table when the body is partially hidden, or talking on the phone, it is much easier to hide a lie.

Zones and territories

Territory refers to the space that a person considers to be his own, as if this space is an extension of his physical body. Like animals, a person has his own territory, an air envelope surrounding his body, and its size depends on the density of the population of people in the place where this person lives.

The spatial territory is conventionally divided into 4 distinct zones.

Intimate area- 15-46 centimeters. This is the main area, and it is guarded by humans especially jealously. Only those persons with whom you are in close emotional contact are allowed to enter this zone. In this zone there is also a subzone with a radius of 15 centimeters, which can only be penetrated through physical contact.

Personal zone from 46 cm to 1.2 m. This is the distance that usually separates us when we are at parties, official receptions, evenings, and friendly meetings.

Social zone from 1.2 to 3.6 meters. We keep this distance from strangers, for example, a visitor or a worker doing repairs in the house. From people we don't know very well.

Public area(more than 3.6 meters). When we speak to a large group of people, it is most convenient to stand at this distance from the audience.

Practical use of zonal space

Usually the intimate area is violated for two reasons. If the “violator” is our loved one, or if the “violator” shows hostile feelings. A person is quite tolerant of the intrusion of a stranger into personal or social areas, while an intrusion into an intimate area causes a “state of alert.” At the same time, the heart begins to beat faster, adrenaline is released into the blood, and it rushes to the brain and muscles. This means that if you touch the arm or hug someone you just met in a friendly manner, it may cause them to react negatively, even if they continue to smile at you. Therefore, if you want people to feel comfortable in your company, keep your distance. So, for example, if you get a job, then at first it will seem to you that your colleagues are treating you coolly, although in fact they are keeping you at a social distance. However, after some time, when your colleagues get to know you better, you will be allowed to move within your personal zone. An exception to the rules requiring strict adherence to the distance zone are cases when a person’s spatial zone is determined by his social status. For example, a company manager and his subordinate can be fishing partners, and while fishing, they cross each other’s personal and intimate zones. At work, the manager will keep his subordinate at a distance from the social zone, observing the unwritten rules of social stratification.

Palm Power

From time immemorial, an open palm has been associated with sincerity, honesty, devotion and trust. Oaths are taken with the palm over the heart, and the oath is taken by raising an open palm.

The best way to find out whether a person is frank and honest with you at the moment is to observe the position of his palms. For example, when people are completely honest with you, they hold out one or both palms to you. During a frank conversation, the palms are fully or partially open. Like other body language gestures, this is a completely unconscious gesture; it tells you that the other person is telling the truth at the moment. If a person is trying to hide something, then during explanations he will hide his hands in his pockets or keep them crossed. This begs the question - if you keep your palms open, you can lie and no one will notice. The answer is other gestures that become visible to an observant person. An interesting observation has been made that most people cannot tell a lie if their palms are open. With open palms, you can make other people lie less.

There are three basic command palm gestures: palm up position, palm down position, and pointing finger position. Consider an example where you ask to move a box to another corner of the room. We will use the same words, tone of voice, and facial expressions.

The position of the open palm up is a trusting, non-threatening gesture, reminiscent of the gesture of someone asking on the street. With this gesture, the person does not feel any pressure, and under conditions of subordination, he will perceive this as a request on your part.

When your palm is down, there is an immediate air of authority in your gesture. This may create a feeling of hostility in the person you are addressing. If this gesture is addressed to your colleague, then he may not comply with this request, as if he did it with his palm raised up.

By clenching your palm into a fist with your index finger extended, you are forcing the person into submission. If you have a habit of pointing, try replacing this gesture with a palm up or down position and you will find that you will have greater success in communicating with others.

Body language is an unconscious communication technique consisting of a collection of gestures, signs and postures. With their help, a person’s true feelings, emotions, thoughts and ideas are encoded. Our subconscious reads the body language and gestures of any person. We recognize lies on an intuitive level. But we suppress intuition based on rational reasoning.

If you want to understand the people around you and learn how to recognize lies, hypocrisy or reticence, study body language - it will help you. This science is useful not only for businessmen; even an ordinary person is interested in watching politicians, stars, friends and recognizing lies in their speech. Or watch an action movie and understand the special sign language of special forces. Knowledge of body language and gestures is included in the list of required skills for all people, especially for those who have to communicate a lot, perform, and manage people at work.

You can recognize a lie by facial expressions and gestures. The main facial signs of lying:

• If the sides of the face are asymmetrical, this is a sign of lying or reticence. The face works synchronously if the person is telling the truth, and asymmetry is a sign of hidden feelings.
• Sincere feelings are replaced quickly. Therefore, emotions frozen on the face for 5 or more seconds are insincere.
• Real feelings appear simultaneously with words. If they are even a fraction of a second late, you are most likely talking to a liar.

It is not difficult to recognize a liar by gestures if you carefully observe him. Lying gestures include:

• the interlocutor often touches his face with his hands;
• the interlocutor covers his mouth with his hand;
• rubs his eyes with his palms;
• constantly touches the collar.

Remember that you cannot say that your interlocutor is lying just by one gesture or facial sign. A set of indicators needs to be assessed.

To learn to recognize lies, communicate more often and pay attention to the facial expressions and gestures of your interlocutor. People who are interested in how to recognize a lie by their eyes are sure that looking away means they are not telling the truth. Don’t rush to conclusions; looking away means that during communication the interlocutor is remembering something.

Practice often. Communicate with people, watch photos and videos of politicians’ speeches to automatically respond to lies.

Gesture illustrators

Illustrators are a type of gesture that is used to complement the information being expressed. These are not necessarily hand gestures. Illustrators include facial expressions, or slight turns of the body. A person subconsciously uses illustrators when he cannot express his thoughts in words.

Remember, the use of illustrators in speech is a sign of a person’s sincerity. When gestures are present in a conversation, the interlocutor feels relaxed, he experiences truthful emotions.

Illustrators include:

• gestures that repeat information;
• gestures that complement information;
• gestures that replace words.

A classic example of illustrators is indicating the direction of movement. When you explain directions, you use your hands to point in the direction to the left while saying it in words.

In educational institutions, professors constantly use illustrators during lectures. Scientists have proven that we perceive only 5% of speech if it is not supported by illustrators. The teacher uses gestures to emphasize important points.

Gesture controls

Regulators are gestures that regulate conversation. They are especially important at the beginning and end of the conversation. A classic example of regulators is a handshake. It says a lot. A handshake that is too short and weak indicates indifference or contempt. A moderately long handshake combined with a friendly smile will put your interlocutor in good stead. But a handshake that is too long indicates the other person’s desire to control you.

But this is not the only regulator. These also include:

• nodding the head means the interlocutor’s desire to speed up the conversation;
• slow nods of the head - sincerity and interest in the conversation;
• hands in pockets - the interlocutor’s secrecy and reluctance to tell the whole truth;
• index finger raised up - a desire to briefly interrupt the dialogue.

Regulators are not a sign of lying, but they speak about the desires of the interlocutor during the dialogue and his attitude towards the conversation.

Sign language in different countries of the world

If you don't know a foreign language well, then with the help of gestures you will convey information or a question to people if you use them correctly. In different countries, one gesture means completely different information.

Some countries (Great Britain, Switzerland, North America) imply literal communication. A resident of the country will perceive everything you say in words. And the French, Japanese or Italians will pay attention to gestures and subtext of the conversation. Therefore, it is important to know the peculiarities of gestures in countries around the world. A translator is often useless in this case because he translates words but not gestures, which is important in most countries.

Gesture features that will surprise you:

• In most European countries, shaking the head in different directions means denial, refusal. In India, Bulgaria and Greece, the same gesture means agreement, and a nod means refusal.
• In countries with a Buddhist religion, stroking a child's head is perceived with aggression, as it is considered an invasion of personal space.
• Our usual gesture, when we twirl our finger at our temple, is interpreted by the French as stupidity, by the Dutch as intelligence. And in the UK this phrase is: “live by your wits.”
• Avoid touching your earlobe in the presence of Spaniards. This gesture implies that you want to talk about the presence of a homosexual in the company.
• Learn to use the "ok" gesture correctly when your thumb and index finger touch. In Russia it means approval, but in different countries it means different words. In France it means something that is not worth attention, in Turkey it indicates a homosexual, the Japanese show money this way, and the Syrians this way indicate a disdainful attitude.
• The thumb, which sticks out upward, serves to stop traffic. Europeans, by jerking their hand in this position towards the shoulder, indicate disdain. In Greece, this gesture indicates that the interlocutor should remain silent.
• Do not show the Greeks your palm with fingers spread, facing away from you. It insults them.
• The Japanese give gifts with both hands. Presenting with one hand is an insult.
• If you show an Italian your cupped hand, he will think that you are asking him for an explanation.
• In Pakistan, do not clap your hands if you are a man, as two claps indicate gayness.
• Spaniards and Italians, showing a gesture with protruding index finger and little finger, known to us as the rock gesture, means that the person is indicating to the interlocutor that his spouse is cheating.
• Don't cross your fingers at random in Vietnam - it's an indecent gesture.
• Don't look your African interlocutor in the eye. A long gaze is indecent.
• Winking at an Indian girl is an invitation to sexual activity.

A universal gesture that in every country will bring joy and goodwill to the interlocutor is a smile. Smile and you will be understood correctly.

Body language in sleep

During communication, we control gestures and facial expressions. But in a dream we relax and body language is interpreted correctly. Human psychology is designed in such a way that postures in a dream say a lot:

• Fetus - a person curls up in his sleep and bends his knees under him. Hands clasp legs. The pose signifies a person’s closedness and uncertainty. He needs care and protection. Human psychology is not able to withstand severe stress; he often worries.
• Prostrate position in a dream - a person lies on his stomach and straightens up as much as he can. Hands are spread out along the edges of the bed, above the head. The psychology of posture touches on the topic of control. A person wants to control all the events of his life by any means. But this answer is ambiguous. In fact, a person is vulnerable and vulnerable. He does not like surprises and lies, and therefore strives to keep everything under control.
• In a dream, a person lies on his back in a free position. He is relaxed and peaceful. In life, a person feels like a leader, and during communication, he feels like the main one. He achieves his goals and confidently walks through life.
• A person who lies on his side in a dream with his knees bent is rational and self-confident. He is able to plan his life and adequately assess the situation.

In a dream, a person does not control body language, so one can tell about his attitude to the world by seeing his posture.

James Borg "Body Language"

James Borg, who wrote the book Body Language, believes that more than half of the information we perceive is conveyed through gestures. The author has compiled seven lessons in his work, each of which will bring you closer to your goal - to learn to read the emotions and thoughts of people around you, recognize lies and truth, and apply the acquired knowledge to achieve practical tasks.

“Body Language” will teach you the main thing - to control your own gestures and facial expressions in order to convey the information you need to your interlocutors.

Reviews of the book are positive; readers note the practical, rather than theoretical, benefits of the manual. Therefore, we recommend reading “Body Language” to everyone who in everyday life is faced with the need to talk and negotiate.

Gorilla who understands sign language

In 1971, a gorilla named Coco was born in San Francisco. She is amazing in that she can not only understand, but also speak sign language. She communicates her desires, preferences, or poor condition to zookeepers using gestures.

Gorilla conveys emotions and feelings no worse than people. For example, she doesn't like to swim. When she was shown a photograph of a monkey being bathed, the gorilla showed that in the same situation she would cry.

The animal loves to joke. One day she called herself a bird and said that she could fly. The gorilla later admitted that she was joking.

Coco understands the concepts: present, past and future.

One day a gorilla asked to be allowed to have a pet. The keepers brought several kittens to Coco, she chose one and looked after it, played with it and rolled it on her back. Unfortunately, the kitten escaped from its cage and was hit by a car. After the situation, Koko gestured that the cat was sleeping. When she saw a photo of a similar kitten, she showed sadness and sadness with gestures.

Sign language (dactyl training)

If you want your child to learn sign language, then the “Sign Language (Dactyl Training)” app will help you. The application is designed for children and contains many pictures depicting gestures. The application's vocabulary is wide. There are theoretical and practical lessons, a dictionary of gestures.

According to numerous reviews, there is no better tool for learning body language for babies.

Masonic signs

Freemasons are a secret organization with ideas, customs and ideals. The organization's goal is to change the world for the better, but its members are labeled as evil and Satan worshipers. In fact, Freemasonry is a kind of religion. But members of the organization place themselves above religions, associations and parties.

Masonic gestures are often used among us, although we do not even notice it. Research scientists claim that every gesture can be called Masonic if it is carefully examined. With their help, members of the organization found each other back in the 18th century. This trend has continued to this day.

There is an opinion that a handshake in which the little finger is protruded and concave inward is considered a Masonic greeting.

Whether or not to believe secret signs, everyone decides for themselves. But don’t look for a Masonic sign in every gesture. The signs that people around the world use may have come from a secret organization, but today they serve a different purpose.

Sign language for babies

Scientists have found that teaching sign language to babies who cannot speak helps them quickly master spoken language in the future. With the help of sign language, the mother finds out what the child wants, what makes him sad or what hurts. Knowledge of sign language saves parents from crying and hysterics of a child who cannot convey to his parents the reasons for his concern. Recognize your child's condition by observing his gestures:

Body language is an assistant in any communication with people. Knowing the basic movements and gestures, you will be able to recognize a lie and feel the true attitude of the interlocutor towards you.

When entering into a conversation in an unfamiliar company, each of us has probably noticed that we immediately feel sympathy for some people, and outright hostility towards others. As a rule, the human body is capable of intuitively recognizing the unconscious movements of an opponent and forming an appropriate attitude towards him. Every person is able to control his voice and facial expressions, but it is impossible to completely control body language, and if you learn to correctly interpret body language, you can easily understand the true intentions of your interlocutor.

Gestures

The science that studies gestures is complex and multifaceted. There are gestures that help people with hearing and speaking problems communicate, and there are special signs that make it easier for people to understand each other in a noisy environment. The person may lie deliberately, withhold information, or feel hatred. Yes, he is able to control the timbre of his voice, put on a mask of indifference on his face, but he is not able to completely control his body. To understand body language you need to remember a few tricks:

Start of research

People have been observing the movements of their interlocutors for a long time, trying to somehow analyze and systematize them. But only at the end of the twentieth century such a science as non-verbalism appeared, which studies exclusively the language of body movements. The nonverbal aspects of communication are beginning to receive serious and thorough research. The general public became aware of the existence of a relationship between movements and emotions only in the early 60s. Julius Fast published a book about the nonverbal aspects of communication, but even today many people are still unaware of the existence of body language. And those who know this turn to the works of Alan Pease.

Note to businessman

The book “Body Language” by Alan Pease has become a real global bestseller, especially among businessmen. The book analyzes all possible gestures that people use and presents their detailed characteristics.

Most of the gestures presented in the book are suitable for business. For example, in the book “Body Language,” Alan Pease writes that if the interlocutor sits with his legs crossed and his arms wrapped around it, then he is a firm and stubborn person. To find such an opponent you need to use an extraordinary approach. Such and similar recommendations are indispensable in establishing partnerships and business relationships.

It is also worth noting that many of the author's references relate to direct sales. In Body Language, Allan Pease draws attention to one interesting pattern: position in society directly affects the variety of gestures. For example, a person at the top of the social and professional ladder uses a rich vocabulary in the process of communication. At the same time, a less professional and educated person uses fewer words, relying more on gestures.

Negative consequences

Research has shown that the most successful sales managers were those who could read body language and body language. No matter what business a person does, sooner or later he will encounter people and he will have to establish relationships with them. And to do this, you need to learn to understand the point of view of other people, create an atmosphere of relaxed communication and be able to persuade.

It will be easier to achieve mutual understanding with people through an attitude of cooperation rather than competition. To avoid negative consequences from mistakes that could lead to hostility in your opponent, you need to ask polite questions that prevent misunderstandings. For example, if a sales representative is invited into a house and asked to sit down, he, without any malicious intent, can sit in the master's chair, which will cause the indignation of the head of the family. To avoid such misunderstandings, you need to ask about where to sit, etc.

Crossbreeding effect

In Body Language, Allan and Barbara Pease note that crossed limbs represent resentment.

Arms crossed on the chest or legs crossed over one leg, or all together, indicate that the interlocutor has taken a defensive position and is in an extremely negative state. Ankles brought together can also indicate this. As many years of practice have shown, clasping your ankles is equivalent to biting your lips - this gesture shows that a person is holding back his bad attitude, anxiety, fear and other unpleasant emotions.

Very often during interviews, applicants try to hide their excitement. If during an interview the boss sits closer to the candidate, provided that they are not separated by a table, then the anxiety will go away and the conversation will become more personal and frank.

How to look at your interlocutor?

You can tell a lot about a person by his look. When conducting business negotiations, it is important to look at your opponent with a serious gaze. To do this, you need to imagine a triangle on the interlocutor’s forehead and direct your gaze there, then the interlocutor will immediately feel a businesslike mood.

To control the flow of the conversation, you do not need to look below the eyes of your interlocutor. When the gaze drops below the eyes of the interlocutor, an atmosphere of social communication appears.

How to spot a lie?

By nature, a person has a negative attitude towards lying, even if he lies himself. Based on this statement, it is possible to identify gestures that indicate a lie. If you suspect that your interlocutor is lying, you need to pay attention to the left side of the body, since it is much more difficult to control than the right.

A liar will definitely want to shut down, so it is likely that he will cover his mouth with his hand. If it is not the speaker, but the listener, who covers his mouth with his hand, it means he does not trust the words of his interlocutor.

Another gesture of lying can be rubbing a finger on the nose or dimple above the lip, rubbing an eyelid, moving arms and legs that do not correspond to the spoken owls. For example, during a conversation, the interlocutor may draw patterns on the ground with the toe of his shoe - this also indicates a lie.

An averted gaze also speaks in favor of lying. If the interlocutor looks to the side, then he really wants to be believed, and if downward, then he is extremely ashamed or feels insecure. But most of these rules can be applied to amateurs: as practice shows, experienced liars know how to control themselves, so it is much more difficult to catch them lying by gestures.

You can determine whether a person is telling the truth in the following way: look into the interlocutor’s eyes or at the tip of his nose for a minute. If during this time he does not shy away and does not look away, then his words can be trusted.

Successful communication

In order to win over a person at the first meeting, you need to give preference to a restrained and careful style of communication, but in no case be pedantic. You need to train your gait and posture in advance. Men should walk firmly and confidently, women should walk softly and gracefully. You also need to pay attention to your appearance; it should be accepted immediately.

A familiar greeting is considered bad form; it is better to limit yourself to a laconic handshake; there is no need to hug or kiss a stranger whom you have just been introduced to.

Potential enemy

There is no need to sort through foreign objects or adjust clothes; you can gently gesticulate in time with your speech. This gives credibility and prevents fussiness. You need to act relaxed, show “open” gestures and smile more often, and not invade the personal space of a stranger. The main thing is to be internally tuned to contact.

There's a lot to be said about body language. Human facial expressions and gestures can even give away secrets. For example, a half-smile in one direction indicates hidden contempt, a protrusion of the chin with accompanying widening of the eyes shows that the person is afraid, and a twitching of the upper lip and tip of the nose indicates hatred.

It is useful for every person to know about such things; you never know who you will encounter in life, because every stranger can turn out to be a potential enemy, and the sooner his true intentions are known, the better.